My obligatory disclaimer: I believe there are many people in this world who would fit the description of a suitable life partner. All one has to do is to be open to the possibility of receiving love.
All living beings vibrate at the frequency of love. Without exception. The kind of love that makes one feel uplifted, free, supported and at peace. The kind of love that we all wish to receive from others. The kind of love that we hope to give to others. The love that vibrates at almost a spiritual frequency. The sort that makes you feel you’re going towards your life purpose, helps you grow into the fullest potential of your soul this lifetime.
So, how would you attract you can share this love with?
Roadblocks On The Path to A Healthy, Fulfilling Relationship.
Natal Saturn in the 1st, 4th, 7th house and/or Inner planets in a challenging aspect to Saturn (Square, opposition)
If Saturn falls in your 1st/ 7th, you’re possibly attracted to partners older than you. Finding a compatible person may be delayed, but once you’ve found your person, Saturn ensures you’re bound to them for a lifetime. So take your time and don’t rush into a legal commitment like marriage.
Natal Uranus in 1st, 4th, 7th or 10th house and/or Inner planets in a challenging aspect to Uranus (Square, opposition).
This is personal as I have natal Uranus not only in an angular house but also in a challenging aspect to an inner planet. I have had to deal with unpredictability and instability in every single relationship in my life. As I’m older and hopefully wiser, I have come to accept the lesson that Uranus has been trying to teach me all these decades- “Find the security and stability that you seek within. You will not find it in anything or anyone outside of you”.
On the plus side, because of dominant Uranus energy, my life has been eventful with a series of fortunate and unfortunate events. Nothing boring about Uranus.
Natal Neptune in 1st, 4th, 7th or 10th house and/or Inner planets in a challenging aspect to Neptune (Square, opposition).
Ever had temporary sleep deprivation where you couldn’t sleep adequately for several days in a row? Remember how that felt? Like we’re awake and yet, not quite awake. Sleepwalking through our days.
That’s how a Neptune dominant person feels where the 3D world and the invisible spiritual world merge and both feel absolutely tangible and real. Someone with Neptune conjunct their ascendant described it to me as “Not being here and being here at the same time“. They said they weren’t sure if they were having vision or hallucinations. Or whether they’re dreaming of their past lives or its a psychotic episode.
A Neptune dominant person in a relationship cannot see their partner with clear eyes. The chart holder often sees an idealized version of their partner and falls in love with that ideal. Once reality hits, as it eventually does, the dream shatters and so does the relationship. No one’s fault really. Blame it on Neptune.
Natal Pluto in the 1st or 4th or 7th or 10th house and/or Inner planets in a challenging aspect to Pluto (Square, opposition).
If your natal Pluto conjuncts, squares or opposes any of your inner planets (Sun-Mars), or is placed in the 1st/4th/7th/10th houses, you need to be careful about your romantic partners.
Like really really careful.
Inevitably the relationship patterns would involve plutonic themes. There could be power struggles within the relationship, secrets, possessiveness, obsessive thoughts. Pluto imparts a certain combative, aggressive energy to the relationship that erodes trust, love and intimacy in the long run. In the short run, the relationship would feel all consuming, intense and something out of the pages of a romance novel. But, this is just a facade.
Moon’s Nodes in the 1st/7th axis or the 4th/10th axis.
This is a very challenging placement. Much more so than outer planets. North and South node are called as shadow planets as they are not planets at all, but rather points where the moons orbit intersects the earth’s ecliptic.
As shadow planets, they exert a huge influence in the chart holders life especially when they’re placed in the angles (1/4/7/10 houses). It’s a curious mix of yearning for that perfect love but every relationship they experience could require a great deal of personal sacrifice or compromise.
If North node (Rahu) and South Node (Ketu) lie on the 1st/7th axis, marriage may be turbulent with daily ups and downs. The chart holder might feel torn or conflicted between focus on self (1st) vs the other (7th).
If they lie on the 4th/10th axis, your career is often at odds with your personal life. Again, a deep conflict between duty to oneself or professional life.
Many astrologers believe that nodes placed on the 1st/7th or 4th/10th are leftover karmic lessons which the chart holders needs to accept and master this lifetime. It isn’t just a trial for the chart holders, but also their partners who will need to compromise repeatedly and consistently over the course of the relationship.
Strategies That Could Address Malefic Planetary Energies
Outer Planets*
*placements in your birth chart
Saturn
Look for partners who embody the Saturnian archetype which usually is: Stoic, ambitious, grounded, dutiful and responsible. This could be reflected in their chart where they could have Capricorn or Aquarius rising, Moon or Venus in Capricorn and/or a Saturn in Capricorn/Aquarius and bonus: Saturn in Libra. Strong Saturn positive aspects between a couple are absolutely necessary for a long lasting relationship because it is the glue that holds people together.
Pluto
Maybe consider dating those who have Pluto in a different sign to yours. Sometimes this would mean dating outside your age group. Not significantly older/younger, but a 6-7 years gap might help with challenging natal placements. Goes without saying that if they have challenging natal Pluto placements in their own natal charts, then RUN.
In the opposite direction.
Just kidding.
My obligatory disclaimer: Astrology is divine guidance not divine decree.
Uranus
Like with Pluto, consider dating those who have Uranus in a different sign than yours. This would mean they could be +/- 7 years older/younger than you. Or those with gentle aspects to Uranus in their own charts.
Neptune
Strong Saturn or Sun would be an antidote for the dreamy-bordering on-delusions shadow of Neptune. Someone with their Sun in Leo would bring clarity like a headlight to the misty fogginess of Neptune in your chart. A partner with a powerful Saturn will help ground and structure the illusions and mysticism of your chart. Caveat being that they shouldn’t be Neptune dominant, or it will either be an otherworldly sort of love (agape) or like the love story of the male-female lead in the movie Inception- no one really knows what’s happening, including the protagonists.
Moon’s Nodes
If you have the nodes placed on an angular axis, seek a partner with your ascendant as their descendant or vice versa. Or their MC as their IC and vice versa.
For instance, if you have Capricorn rising/ascendant with north node in 1st house in capricorn, look for someone with cancer rising/ascendant. i.e. Look for the polarity of your ascendant/descendant or MC/IC sign. Or if you have south node in 10th house with 10th house cusp (MC) in Gemini, look for a partner with their MC in Sagittarius (polarity of Gemini). Not fool proof and no guarantee that the relationship will be smooth sailing, but from personal experience, it helps.
Though, try not to sound too creepy while asking for their birth time.
Sometimes, though, shit happens and despite all caution and effort, relationships don’t work out and we get brought down to our knees. A philosophical mindset (Stoicism) could go a long way in getting us to dust ourselves off and get off the floor. C’est La Vie.
Thinking Out of The Box
“We can change by changing our attitudes and patterns of behavior. In doing so, we change our destiny”
Isabel M Hickey
How does one recognize true love if one does not understand what is actually looks like. How does true love feel? How does it behave? How does it enrich your life? What would you do if you find it? How would you distinguish between true love and not-so-true love?
At the risk of preaching,finding true love really begins with loving ourselves unconditionally. If we don’t love ourselves completely, without conditions, how can we expect to attract that kind of love from another? Or offer that sort of love to another? Not loving ourselves and honoring ourselves could also create a situation where we cannot discern between those who are meant for us and those who are utterly and absolutely detrimental to our well being.
Let your energy or the frequencies at which you vibrate match with someone/anyone, without judgment on who the person is, and allow the universe to bring the both of you together. But, the journey to a emotionally and spiritually fulfilling relationship could be enjoyable if one builds a relationship with oneself first.
Finding ‘The One’
Generalizations galore with my usual disclaimer of: Each individual chart needs to be analyzed in-depth.
Where (not when) will you meet your long term partner/significant other/spouse?
Check the sign on the cusp of the 7th house and the lord/ruler of that sign. And then check the placement of the ruler in your natal chart.
For instance, if the sign on the 7th house cusp is Pisces. Ruler is Jupiter.
If Jupiter is in your 11th house, then you could meet your spouse over the internet, or they could be one of your friends in your large network of friends, or you could meet them at volunteer spaces, in community settings, in non-professional community spaces.
If the 7th house ruler is in your 9th house, then you could meet your SO at college, university, while traveling for work or vacation. This person could live at a great distance from you and originate from a different background or culture.
If the 7th house ruler is in your 6th, you could meet your spouse at work, while running errands, or while doing mundane everyday things.
In Vedic astrology using the Sidereal chart:
The general personality of your significant person can be seen from the planet which has the lowest degree in your chart. (Use only the 7 traditional planets)
For example: If the planet with the lowest degree is Venus, your significant other could embody venusian qualities- could be attractive, relationship oriented, wealthy, lover of arts with a great aesthetic sense, etc.
Or: If the planet with the lowest degree is Jupiter, the significant other would embody Jupiterian characteristics- magnanimity, optimism, expansiveness, growth and learning oriented, interested in justice and philosophy…
None of this is set in stone though, and we could eventually marry/commit to people who are very different from what our natal charts show. So, be open to receiving love.
I’d be happy to answer (general) questions in the comments.
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