1. I disregard ‘red flags’ in synastry. Because these astrological red flags can be addressed as long as two healthy individuals are in a healthy relationship.
2. Brilliant or fool-proof synastry does not exist. Every single long term connection with another human requires adjustments, compromise and a healthy give and take.
3. Synastry begins with the natal charts of each individual in the relationship. If one person in the couple has a challenging natal chart, it will override theoretical, on paper ‘best aspects’ in synastry.
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4. Real world connections are complex and multi-layered. Challenging synastry should not be the only factor in determining the course or future of the relationship.
5. Synastry can explain the factors or reasons behind relationship failure. However, synastry may not accurately describe the mechanics of a healthy, functional relationship.
Harsh aspects between outer planets of one person to the inner planets of another.
If you have it in your natal chart, you are likely to face these aspects in synastry with those around your age. Because outer planets are generational and everyone born within 4-5 years +/- of you will have their Uranus/Neptune/Pluto in the same sign or even same degree.
For eg- If you have Sun opposition Uranus in your natal, every single human born within 4/5 years (older/younger) of you will have their Uranus tightly opposing your Sun. What joy!. (Just kidding). Only difference being where Uranus falls in their chart.
So, really, this category of harsh aspect or ‘red flag’ so to speak is easier to manage for the person who has it in their natal chart, while the other person may be blind sided because they are unfamiliar with the energy.
Taking the same example: A person X with Sun opposite Uranus in their birth chart lives the Uranian energy within their own selves or life. Whereas, when this same aspect is triggered in synastry with person Y who does not have this opposition in their natal chart; person Y finds person X, and the relationship by extension- unpredictable, unstable, and unreliable. Now if person Y has inner planets in Capricorn, like Venus in Capricorn for example, they will be completely turned off/put off by this unpredictability. However, if the same Person Y has Venus in Aquarius, they will find the connection with person X electric, novel and very exciting.
See how a ‘red flag’ is not really a red flag with the right person?
Harsh aspects between the malefics of one to the other.
Now, this is a bit tricky. Saturn square Saturn can be very heavy and depressing. And Mars square Mars can devolve into a vicious, violent dysfunctional relationship.
But, BUT, even in this category of red flag, two people could have a functional relationship as long as one of them has a dignified malefic. So, a Saturn in Libra squaring Saturn in Capricorn is very different to Saturn in Aries squaring Saturn in Cancer. The former is tinged with the energy of dignified Saturn where both parties are Saturnian in their outlook and possibly can deal with a square between their respective Saturns. Whereas, the Saturn in Cancer individual will be overwhelmed with a square from Saturn in Aries and vice versa.
Although Saturn gets a very bad rap, having Saturn squaring Saturn in synastry is still preferable to Mars squaring Mars. Imagine Mars in Cancer (where it is in its fall) squaring Mars in Aries (its domicile). Closest analogy would be, if you can imagine a ninja fighting with a viking warrior. There is no common ground, no agreed upon rules of war or peace and everything is lost in translation. In a fight, this couple may not even know what they’re fighting over.
Mars square Saturn is a terribly annoying connection. Usually, this relationship is fraught with tension and friction. However, even this ‘red flag’ connection produces magic when both individuals are focused on a common goal. For instance, working together or partnering on a business venture where the business objective/goals are clearly understood by both parties. So, great for business; not so great for romance.
Conclusion- No relationship is doomed due to challenging aspects in synastry, despite anything you read over the internet. And there are no astrological deal breakers in synastry. Secret to a healthy relationship is to address the issues and blindspots in our own birth chart before we go digging around for problems in synastry.
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